Thanks and Giving

Highway 12 in Sonoma at Thanksgiving time.

Just a few minutes from our house.

Lots of us Americans sat around the dinner table yesterday, gobbling up turkey and gravy and stuffing and potatoes and biscuits and cranberries and pie, pie and more pie (with whipped cream this time), until our stomachs broke. And what better reason than Thanksgiving? (For an amusing look at the history of Thanksgiving ... http://www.thanksgivinghistory.net/)

Three generations of Thanksgiving girls.

Left to right: Samantha, Nayla Rose, Joanne

There's a lot to be grateful for in these changing times, and if you're on our blog list and reading this, then you know that you're one of the folks we're most grateful for in our lives. Why else "do" life if not for family and friends and the myriad of experiences that come with that? I remember one of the last questions my Nana More asked me just a few days before she died was, "What was that about?" And I loved that question ... that crazy, tender question that has over 6 billion answers — one for each person on the planet.

(One of my favorite answers to this question is from Gertrude Stein who said, "There ain't no answer. There ain't gonna be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer." ... always makes me smile!)

So in looking down a mental list of what this life is about for me, and what I'm grateful for, one of the latest things had to do with a recent phone call...

About a month ago our niece Amanda called and told us that she and her boyfriend Mark were getting married, and they wanted me to perform the wedding ceremony. Okay, it'd been a while since I'd lead ceremony, and after a tiny moment of self-doubt, my heart opened up full-on, full-out and I said, "YES! LET'S DO THIS!"

They chose the Pelican Inn in Muir Woods for their reception site and they wanted a blend of non-traditional and traditional ceremony on the beach a short walk away. Muir Beach can be pretty cold and windy in the middle of Fall, but miraculously enough (thanks to the voodoo of Amanda's & Mark's sisters) the day was sunny, clear, and absolute perfection.

Devon, a friend of Mark's, built a beautiful fire and as we began, Ted beat a drum and everyone filed by the fire tossing in sage bundles to fill the sea air with good wishes. We gathered in a circle around the bride and groom, and with a bit of structure provided by yours truly, everyone offered a piece of themselves to the ceremony with full open heartedness and loving intent.

(photos courtesy of Ted and Mark's sister, Jessica...)

Muir Beach, November 13, 2010

Grandma (Ted's mom) waiting for the festivities to start.

Could the beachy weather have been any more perfect?

Fire & sage bundle procession

The bride and groom.

Soon both had shed their shoes!

Amanda's friend Shannon made the wedding gown.

Haute, haute, HOT!

Lighting Unity Candles

"...do you both commit to making your relationship

the best it can be, now and always?"

Together, they both said, "Yes!"

The bridesmaids, "voodoo" sisters, Shanna & Vanessa.

Thanks for the great weather you two!

Mark and Amanda called us yesterday to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving from their honeymoon on the island of Kauai. The memory of their wedding is now a piece of my answer to Nana's question, ... for me, it's about enjoying as many experiences as I can, loving my family and friends, breaking my stomach on the delights of a Thanksgiving table, and everything in between. Thank you all for including us in your lives ... and for being in ours.

Peace out and hope you all had Happy Thanksgiving!

Hanai Halloween

(Hanai Family photo left to right:

Lola in Alphonso's lap, Mee, Bella in Lee's lap)

In Hawaii there is a deeply loving tradition called Hanai. Children without parents are "hanai-ed" into a family and become part of it, or a couple without children might be given a hanai child by another family or community member. It's a longtime practice that came from the highest place of loving and caring for one another. In fact, very early on, the first born child of a couple was often given to their parents as a sign of their deepest love and respect.

Our Hanai family lives in Tennessee. Years ago we somehow serendipitously found each other, not by intentional calculation, but by what I like to think of as "The Hand of God" moving us around like puzzle pieces and by all of us allowing ourselves to be moved. For sure, A Grand Design "hanai-ed" us together and we all just seem to fit in the deepest, most inexplicable way.

About nine years ago, Ted and I were the "accidental" conduits for Lee and Mee meeting each other. (It's a long story involving Mee's search for Angus, and Crystal Skulls and Teotihuacan). Mee lost her mom when she was 18. I call her the Woman of Many Mothers because she's pulled wonderful mother figures to herself over the years, and I've been graced to be one of them. And Ted, "Bubba" to the kids, is more a father figure to her than her blood dad really could have been. But more than parental roles, we all feel like we've played interchangeable roles for each other for an enormity of time, before and beyond this lifetime. Does that make sense? Oh well, sense or no sense, we love this family dearly and their children ARE our grandchildren, blood or no blood, sense or no sense and that's just the way it is, and we couldn't be happier about it.

So, we went to Nashville for Halloween to get some good Hanai-lovin' and whooo weeee doggies! did we git it bigtime!

(Ozzie? Is that you?)

(Love potion number Off Da Charts! And oh DJ ... Boo Gabba Gabba!)

(Avatar Bella - she did a lot of her make-up herself!)

(Lola Bug)

(Mr. Mysterioso)

(Day of the Dead at Cheekwood)