Into The Great Mystery

This was my mom, Laverne Abby Livingston in about 1943-4.
Pretty, don't you think?

Mom passed into The Great Mystery last month and my first impression when I heard the news was an image of her at about this age, laughing and enjoying herself with her own mother who passed on several years earlier. I was relieved for Mom because, as pretty as she was on the outside, she was very troubled on the inside for most of her life. My brother said that he and my dad arrived at the hospice just minutes after she died. He said he'd never seen her looking so peaceful.

Here it is a month later, and most of the time right now I don't really "get" that Mom's gone. I think of her still up in Oregon, sitting at the kitchen table smoking cigarettes. Then I look at photos of her and remember and sigh. She made it through. There were many times when we didn't think she would. But she did. She made it through a whole lifetime, and now she's graduated into somewhere, something else. And my belief is ... wherever she is ... she's finally home.



Above: Mom married my dad, Les Silver, in 1945. She had three kids between 1947-1952.


Above: About 1965
Top row: My brother Larry, Grandpa Livingston, my dad Les.
Bottom row: My sister Joanne, my grandma Nana More, my mom Laverne, and me.

Above: About 1992 I think.
Standing row: Samantha with baby Talo (he's nearly 18 now!), Ray, Joanne, Bonni, Leslie, Tifa, me, Puna, and Mom (by then, she had changed her name from Laverne to Abby Blair.)
Seated row: Larry, Ted, Dad.


Mom's ashes are at my Dad's house in Oregon. She's up on the fireplace mantle with the ashes of her father Adolph and her dog Pepper. I like that she's home, remaining a part of the family instead of buried in the ground or in the wall of a mausoleum somewhere. I think my Dad likes having her home too. He's got a photo of the two of them, all dressed up, taped to the front of her box, and is comforted to know that when he goes (he's 88 and says he's going to live another 5 years and I believe him), we'll be combining their ashes according to their wishes, and sprinkling them around the lakes by their house. I'm hoping Dad will get some good fishing time in before then.

So Mom lives on in his heart and in the hearts and memories of those who loved her. And she's finally, thankfully at peace.
Vaya con Dios Mamacita ...